Thanks to everyone who took the time to fill out the brief Dating Survey. We got a generous amount of feedback that we will be using to tailor our future posts to your needs. If you haven’t had a chance yet to give us your input, there is a link in the right sidebar that will take you to the survey.
One of the biggest questions to come out of the survey was about meeting new people. In particular, how do you walk up to someone you don’t know and strike up a relationship?
Your Approach: Of course, how you choose to engage the hottie you’ve singled out will depend on where you both are. For example, how you act and what you would say will be different if you are approaching him/her in a club, pub, school library, house party, cafeteria, Frat party, or on the street. You want to think about what each situation demands in terms of your energy level, language, conversation topics and attire.
Time: Because they don’t know you, they’ll likely have their guard up, wondering what you want and how long you’ll be harassing them. Put the personal at ease by telling the right away that you need to get back to your friends (you must be normal, you have friends), but you wanted to come over and say hello first. Or some variant thereof. When your time is up(30 seconds to one minute), leave. You can always follow-up later.
Storytelling: You need something to say other than “Hi, you’re cute”. If you have trouble pulling stuff out the air to talk about, memorize something. Keep it simple, truthful, fun and entertaining. You want the other person to be intrigued. Then, when you come around again, they’re dying to talk to you.
Presence: Being “Present” doesn’t just mean showing up. It’s about actively being focused on what’s happening. When you’re Present, you can feel the energy between the two of you. If you get to that point and you are sincere in your desire to connect with this person (i.e. not just looking for sex), you can say or suggest anything and the other person would likely agree to it. It’s a very intense experience, kinda like looking into someone’s soul.
Context: As Einstein would say, “It’s all about relativity”. Not only do you need to be Present, you need to be congruent with the situation (if you are Present, you’re words and actions will follow). You want to blend in to the atmosphere that’s already there. If there’s a huge mismatch and you are out of sync with your surroundings you risk scaring off the very person you wanted to befriend.
Keep things fun and light. If you don’t end up making a “love connection”, assess what happened. Look at where things went well and think about how you can improve where they didn’t. Tweak your approach and try again.
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