The Best Dating Advice

Traditionalists may want to have me stoned or dragged out to the market square and put in irons. You see, I have betrayed the bible of the “bon vivant”, the guide of the gourmet and the repository tome of all things Thanksgiving. As big of a sin as that was, I did not regret it for a single moment.

For Canadian Thanksgiving this year, my girlfriend and I chose swine over fowl. Yes, it’s true. We opted for slow cooked ribs over more traditional fare, like turkey. This devilishly delicious platter was a whole lot simpler than you’d think and it freed us up for a romantic night at home where the only significant time investment was the 45-60 minutes it took to chop up and bake the potatoes.

If you are going to try this at home, first you’ll want to pre-heat your oven to 425o F. Brown your ribs in the oven for 15 minutes on each side. Drain off the fat and marinate them in your favorite sauce BBQ sauce. We used Jack Daniel’s Smoked Hickory flavor. Place the ribs in a slow cooker and set it for 6-8 hours. One hour before they are ready, re-baste the ribs with the sauce reduction forming at the bottom of the cooker. Once the ribs are done, re-coat with more sauce. We took about a cup of the Jack Daniel’s sauce and mixed in a 2-1 portion of honey and molasses to thicken it before laying it over the ribs.

For the side we cut up a few potatoes, placed them on baking sheets and sprinkled them in oregano, salt & pepper and put them in an oven pre-heated to 350o F for 25 minutes.

This, of course, is not the only way to prepare succulent fall-off-the-bone ribs, but as far as an easy recipe that’s simple to prepare, doesn’t involve a lot of pots & pans and tastes as good as or better than the restaurant offerings, this was definitely one of the best romantic dinner ideas we have had.

When we have a romantic interest in someone, we want them to see us at our best. We typically dress to impress and tell a few stories that portray us in a positive light. We dab on a little extra cologne. We use our best make-up. We will even rent a sports car and turn up the charm, all to make a good impression.

Last Sunday, my girlfriend and I participated in CIBC’s “Run for The Cure”; both a walk and run raising funds and awareness for breast cancer. The magnitude of the event was striking. While we were trying to keep warm just before the start of the race, she noted that this would be a great place for guys to meet women. Afterall, there were about two hundred women for every guy in attendance.

I started thinking about how a woman might feel about a guy running for what is considered by most to be a “woman’s cause” (even though, about 2000 men in North America contract the disease every year). When we talked about it some interesting points came up:

1. You’ll generate a sense of mystery as to why you are there.

2. You are showing an awareness of issues beyond the snags in the latest X-Box release.

3. You are demonstrating a desire to contribute back to society.

4. You’ll be perceived as someone who is able to handle tough problems when they come up.

5. You are putting your humanity on display.

All of these qualities are extremely attractive to women and if you are open & friendly, don’t be surprised when you find yourself the center of attention.

I am always amazed at a woman’s ability to find the time to show up at a store and just BROWSE for a few hours. They don’t even need to buy anything to feel satisfied at the end of their experience. As a man, I like to go in, get what I want, pay for it and leave as quickly as possible. The subtle nuances of the experience are lost on me. Now this may seem like a trite example of a difference between the genders, but I believe it exposes some of the hard-wiring in our psychology.

When we want a hammer, we know to go to Home Depot. When we want a pair of socks, we know to go to Walmart. When we want winter tires, we know to go to Firestone. But where do we go when we want to meet a woman? I get this question on a fairly regular basis; as though there were some simple answer like, “Just go down to the woman store on Main Street & Vine and pick out one you like”. Absurd, right?

Well, that is kind of what is happening when men congregate with their buddies on a Friday night, waiting outside behind the red velvet ropes, listening to the hip-hop bleating out of the walls, waiting for the doorman to tell them they can go inside. We just happen to call this particular “woman store” a club or lounge or bar. The goal for many men going to clubs is to go in, get a girl they want, pay for some drinks and leave as quickly as possible with her. Not too unlike my shopping experience, eh? Hmm.

Men tend to answer the question of where to meet women using the same cognitive software that normally helps us to be successful in other areas of our lives; goal-oriented thinking and reasoning. The reason museums, dance classes, art galleries, amusement parks, arcades, concerts, etc.. are all great places to take women on dates is because all of these places are about the subtleties of an experience. They are not about attaining a certain goal or objective. Women are more likely to hang out in places that speak to their emotions. Bowling alleys and pool halls fall into both categories and work well with competitive women. The bottom line is, if you find out where the experiences are, you will find out where the women are.