The Best Dating Advice

What do the economy and dating have in common? The current state of the stock market in many ways resembles someone who has lost their ability to be emotionally consistent; up 800 points, down 1000; up 300, down 700. Every step of the way, they are losing precious ground.

If we, and by we I mean everyone on the planet, were to allow ourselves to be unconcerned by the minor drops and gains of the day-to-day trading; If we weren’t watching the markets every second, demanding to know what it all means and desperately trying to hold on to every profitable cent, a lot of this instability would settle. The problem is we have invested in a strategy that is predicated on everything going in a positive direction. We have invested so much in to this one strategy, that the mere thought that we could possibly lose some ground will send us into a tailspin of irrational, fear based, behaviour.

Someone who does not have much experience with dating puts the same kind of pressures on their interactions when they go out on a date. They need things to go right. They need to make sure they say and do the right things. They need to make sure everything is perfect. This “need-iness” leads to questions like “Am I the kind of person you normally date?”, “Are you attracted to guys/girls like me?” and a whole host of reaction based questions.

Afterall, they have invested in a strategy and desperately want to hold on to every positive gain they have made during the date. Unfortunately, this strategy is steeped in fear, fear of losing the disired outcome - another date. And, this kind of behaviour is the quickest way to ensure their isn’t one.

Your biggest assets on a date is having an ability to “roll with the punches”. Even if it appears as though things are not going smoothly, you can recover quite easily by hanging back. Make a clever quip or relaxed remark, instead of frantically trying to “fix” the situation and you’ll see how easily things get back on track.

If you ask any male who is having trouble meeting women to date, he’ll likely tell you about how “bad” the dating scene is. He may even suggest that the only way to “get with a woman” is either to have a lot of money, be a celebrity or be an abusive jerk (a.k.a. a Badboy); as evidenced by the number of horror stories these guys hear, from the girl they desperately want to hook up with, about her crappy boyfriend.

What is it about these so-called “Badboys” that is so undeniably attractive to women? Why do women flock to them, even though they usually end up causing a lot of emotional and sometimes physical injury. Would you jab a pointy stick through your head to clean out a little earwax? Would you cut your arm off to stop it from itching? Probably not. Though it seems like this is exactly the kind of trade-off beautiful, smart, rational women are making when they date a Badboy.

Let’s see if we can’t demystify their mystique. First of all, they are typically not nice guys. They do not seem to care about anything or anyone. They are self-centered and aloof and communicate mostly through their body language. Forty thousand years ago, before modern language existed this was also how our ancient ancestors decided which males were good to mate with and would produce the best/strongest offspring. Hmmm…

Badboys never chase women. They are referred to as “a challenge”. The woman is working to get his attention rather than the other way around. How many times do guys beg and plead, trying to get a girl’s attention? How many times do guys have women chasing them but only want the one who won’t give them the time of day? Hmmm…

Badboys also have interesting lives. Since they typically have no regard for the social graces, they are prone to step on a few toes. Their emotions are raw and they express them freely. Have you ever noticed that they are continually getting into one emotionally dramatic situation after another? This is attractive because the drama and the emotion have nothing to do with the woman. She can watch safely from afar as it unfolds. Sounds kind of like a soap opera, doesn’t it? Do you know anyone that likes soap operas?

So those are just a couple of the things that badboys have going on that short circuit a woman’s rational brain and speak directly to her biology. And this is why they are never able to explain to you why they like that guy. WHY is a question based in logic. The badboy is more about a feeling, an intensity, a primal urge.

In the culinary arts, they say that the first bite is with the eye. Basically, the presentation of the food is believed to be as important as the taste. Because, if it doesn’t look good, our brains will tell us that it’s not likely to taste good either.

Madison Avenue would like us to believe that this same logic holds true when it comes to dating and relationships. After all, it serves their best interest. It helps them sell us more products as we try to achieve this ideal we are told we need to meet.

The flaw in their logic is that food cannot tell you about thier latest experience travelling along the Mayan Riviera, meeting Puff Daddy at a photo shoot or the spotting that Baby Phat sale on a side street boutique.

You see, good looks in and of themselves are merely a moment frozen in time; a portrait of a promise - a promise of a stellar personality. This is why athletic GQ guys and actresses grace the covers of our magazines. We are left to fill in that empty promise with our imagination and longings; deciphering what these celebrated humans must be like in person.

Despite the mass media messages bombarding our brains every day, the truth is, physical attributes are only half the equation when it comes to attraction. A vibrant, outgoing nature, graceful movements or an intriguing approach to life all factor in to the overall picture. This composite of features and personality is what we refer to as beauty

So long as you shower regularly and are well groomed, all you really need is a sense of style, inline with the type of person with whom you want to connect. Attention to character and charisma, combined with a little knowledge about what styles and fabrics suit your body-type and/or what makeup looks good on you is more important when it comes to being attractive to the opposite (or in some case the same) sex.

First impressions are important. You still want to look good, but having good looks isn’t really that necessary; as it’s peronality that will “seal the deal” when it comes to being attractive in the long term.

When it comes to dating and romance, nothing is more pressuring than a first date. But what if it didn’t have to happen that way? What if you had a plan? A basic blueprint for handling the date?

You know how it is. You are out minding your own business. Maybe you are out with friends at the pool hall, or even alone at the bus stop, and then you see them. Your pulse quickens, your sweat glands engage and you feel anxious. Who is this stranger who is intoxicating your senses? You instantly want to know all about them, even possess them. You lose the will to eat, the urge to sleep. This person is all you can think about.

Driven by your urges, you finally decide to make yourself vulnerable to rejection. You may have spent days or weeks mustering up the courage to talk to them and ask them out. But the risk turns out to be worth it, because they said “yes”. You relax. Your physiological responses return to normal and you start thinking about how great it is that you have set a date with this person.

This is where many people go astray. They start making HD quality pictures in their heads about how great things will be when they get together with this person and start investing a lot of emotion in to the process. When it’s finally time to go on the date, they have built up their expectations so high that there is MASSIVE pressure to make sure everything goes right.

Studies show that having a plan dramatically increases your chances of having things go the way you want them to. I recently posted a FREE nine-page PDF report called: “7 Tips To a Killer First Date”, designed to help you navigate the first date minefields. You can download it here: