The Best Dating Advice

Are you still stumped about what to get your guy for the holidays?

I remember, as as children, when any one of us asked what he wanted for Christmas (or even his birthday), my father would always say, “You know what I really could use? Some socks and deodorant”. Sure, he didn’t want us spending all our allowance on his gift, but he was also communicating one aspect of the perfect guy gift: practicality. To boil things down to a basic level, we are at heart, a goal setting and achieving machine. We get a lot of satisfaction from accomplishing our goals and any gift that helps us do that is always appreciated.

As men, our DNA evolved over time to help us better track down and kill our dinner. As we became better at this, our brains developed larger centers for spacial reasoning and more capabilities for deductive thought. In these modern times, however, these inherent skills are no longer needed to keep us alive. So, we instinctively seek out ways to exercise them. You can see them at work in the great architectual wonders of the world as well as in one of the most popular pasttimes of young North Amercian males: video games.

Another facet of life men have to negotiate is their status amongst a peer group. This can have a positive or negative effect on his social life, depending upon where he falls in that group. This is one reason most men (dare I say: All Men) love gadgets. No matter their purpose, they are cool. They are a symbol of male staus.

So, here are three questions you might want to consider before buying anything. Does your gift:

Help him accomplish something (have a prcatical value)?
Engages the spacial & problem solving parts of his brain?
Add to his social value among his peers (make him seem cool)?

If your gift has any one of these aspects, you’re on the right track. If it has all three, watch out, fireworks are about to explode.

This question has plagued men ever since our ancestors first started to celebrate the holiday. It’s especially troubling to new relationships, where you haven’t known one another for very long. It can be such a daunting question that we put off thinking about it until, uh oh, is it December 24th already?

When it comes to buying gifts for women, any present you intend to buy for her should be appropriate to her taste. However, figuring out what her tastes are is exactly where a lot of men get tripped up, despite their best intentions.

Women are regularly trying to understand the meaning of their communications with others. It’s just apart of the software hard-wired in them from birth. Often, what we may think of cute, cheeky or innocent may end up offending her once she looks at it through her “what does this gift say about me” filter. Here are a few questions to keep you on track:

Is your gift:
*Thoughtful (meaningful beyond the price-tag)?
*Considerate (connected to a shared moment)?
*Appropriate (suitable to her demeanor and style)?
*fun (about her spirit, not her need for a new kitchen appliance)?

Still unsure? Women are very good at giving off subtle hints about things they want or things they want guys (or their guy) to know. As men, we are terrible at picking up these subtle signals. We need the message loud and clear, not a faint whisper through bad reception on an old radio; which is what it often sounds like, so we dismiss it.

You can, however, with a little practice, become good at picking up these signals. Pay attention when the two of you are out window shopping. Look for clues when she says she likes something/doesn’t have something. It will usually just be a passing comment (to us anyway. She may feel like she’s being very clear). When the time comes, not only will she be surprised and smiling, saying, “How did you know? This is awesome”, it will show that you made a conscious effort to get her something you knew she would like. And that, when it comes from the right place, is very attractive to women.

If you make a note of these things and remember them for later, you will never have to scramble for a last minute gift ever again.

The Holiday Season officially kicks off next week. Whether you celebrate Christmas, Hanukkah or Kwanzaa, this is the one time of year where we are able to transcend the minutiae and BS of everyday life and genuinely embrace our fellow man. Smiles and handshakes are seen as sincere expressions of interest and well-being rather than being filtered through the eyes of suspicion and cynicism.

One of the best ways to capitalize on all the good vibrations and socializing at this time of year is to make yourself the center of attraction - an ambassador of good will and peace towards all men.

Here’s your holiday season action plan (works best if Christmas is your thing, but if not, you can always make believe or substitute items/icons/wording as necessary):

Step One: Go to the Dollar Store in your neighbourhood and pick up a Santa hat.

Step Two: Wear your new chapeau out to the club, bar, reception or wherever you want to make an impression. You’ll immediately attract attention and people will be curious about you.

Step Three: Move among the crowd. Go from table to table and ask whomever is there (men, women, single, coupled) what they would like for Christmas.

Step Four: For even more fun, pretend that you actually are Santa Clause. Talk about your elves’ production schedules, jet-lag, or rather sleigh-lag, from traveling all night, how you thought you saw the person you are talking to’s name on the naughty-list, etc…

Step Five: Take this concept to the next level by getting yourself a sleek moleskin notebook. On four or five pages write down as many men and women names as you can think of on the left side. On the right side of those pages, write Naughty or Nice. This way, no matter who you run into, you can pull out your “little black book” and let them know if they will be getting a present or a lump of coal this year.

It’s a lot of fun and people WILL remember you; sometimes for years after-the-fact.

When it comes to dating and romance, nothing is more pressuring than a first date. But what if it didn’t have to happen that way? What if you had a plan? A basic blueprint for handling the date?

You know how it is. You are out minding your own business. Maybe you are out with friends at the pool hall, or even alone at the bus stop, and then you see them. Your pulse quickens, your sweat glands engage and you feel anxious. Who is this stranger who is intoxicating your senses? You instantly want to know all about them, even possess them. You lose the will to eat, the urge to sleep. This person is all you can think about.

Driven by your urges, you finally decide to make yourself vulnerable to rejection. You may have spent days or weeks mustering up the courage to talk to them and ask them out. But the risk turns out to be worth it, because they said “yes”. You relax. Your physiological responses return to normal and you start thinking about how great it is that you have set a date with this person.

This is where many people go astray. They start making HD quality pictures in their heads about how great things will be when they get together with this person and start investing a lot of emotion in to the process. When it’s finally time to go on the date, they have built up their expectations so high that there is MASSIVE pressure to make sure everything goes right.

Studies show that having a plan dramatically increases your chances of having things go the way you want them to. I recently posted a FREE nine-page PDF report called: “7 Tips To a Killer First Date”, designed to help you navigate the first date minefields. You can download it here:

Traditionalists may want to have me stoned or dragged out to the market square and put in irons. You see, I have betrayed the bible of the “bon vivant”, the guide of the gourmet and the repository tome of all things Thanksgiving. As big of a sin as that was, I did not regret it for a single moment.

For Canadian Thanksgiving this year, my girlfriend and I chose swine over fowl. Yes, it’s true. We opted for slow cooked ribs over more traditional fare, like turkey. This devilishly delicious platter was a whole lot simpler than you’d think and it freed us up for a romantic night at home where the only significant time investment was the 45-60 minutes it took to chop up and bake the potatoes.

If you are going to try this at home, first you’ll want to pre-heat your oven to 425o F. Brown your ribs in the oven for 15 minutes on each side. Drain off the fat and marinate them in your favorite sauce BBQ sauce. We used Jack Daniel’s Smoked Hickory flavor. Place the ribs in a slow cooker and set it for 6-8 hours. One hour before they are ready, re-baste the ribs with the sauce reduction forming at the bottom of the cooker. Once the ribs are done, re-coat with more sauce. We took about a cup of the Jack Daniel’s sauce and mixed in a 2-1 portion of honey and molasses to thicken it before laying it over the ribs.

For the side we cut up a few potatoes, placed them on baking sheets and sprinkled them in oregano, salt & pepper and put them in an oven pre-heated to 350o F for 25 minutes.

This, of course, is not the only way to prepare succulent fall-off-the-bone ribs, but as far as an easy recipe that’s simple to prepare, doesn’t involve a lot of pots & pans and tastes as good as or better than the restaurant offerings, this was definitely one of the best romantic dinner ideas we have had.

You know the situation: You were out having fun and now you’re back at her place or his apartment and joking around. Suddenly the conversation dries up and you can feel it in the air. You should be doing something. You can hear the hands on the clock ticking loudly in your ears. The awkward silence is deafening. You need to make a move but you’re not sure how to transition things to the bedroom. Worst of all, it’s something you both want!

I discovered one of the best romantic comedies on the market that acts as the perfect segue. It’s a British show called “Coupling” that has been a part of my dating toolbox for a number of years. In fact, I have often referred to it as Seduction In A Box. It’s similar in concept to the show “Friends” except that all these friends talk about is sex and it doesn’t hurt that this show is about ten times funnier, sassier and a whole lot more clever.

Here’s why I like this product in this situation:

1. It makes transitioning from “talk” to “touch” extremely smooth.

2. It virtually guarantees you won’t blow things by acting awkward and being hesitant.

3. It gets everyone thinking about sex in a light-hearted way.

4. It’s a show that is relevant to both men and women.

5. It’s portable (in case you end up at their place).

I highly recommended getting the whole series (they come as a boxed set if you do). The shows are just that addictive. If that wasn’t reason enough, check out all the “gems” on the bonus DVDs. And you can get all four seasons for under $100.00 CAD

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Pop culture, music and film have set our expectations through the roof when it comes to dating. If you are not flying to Paris for dinner, attending the latest star-studded premiere and hanging out in the hottest club’s private room, we are somehow made to feel we have missed the mark in making our date a successful one.

What they don’t tell you; what always works; what is important about your date; is making a connection with the other person, and it doesn’t take a lot of flash and glitz to do that. All you really need is to have a plan and execute it, even if that’s only shooting pool.

Be creative and use your imagination when you are thinking of places to go or things to do. Being original and unpredictable is immensely attractive and much more valuable than throwing a lot of cash around. However, you still want to make a good impression, especially if it’s a first date.

So, instead of taking your date to the dive across the tracks where they have the dollar coin tables that let you play all night, try the trendy penthouse pool hall with the leather chairs with the tables you rent by the hour. Play a game or two before moving on to the next part of your date. You don’t have to blow your wad, but show them you are not a cheapskate either.