The Best Dating Advice

You know the situation: You were out having fun and now you’re back at her place or his apartment and joking around. Suddenly the conversation dries up and you can feel it in the air. You should be doing something. You can hear the hands on the clock ticking loudly in your ears. The awkward silence is deafening. You need to make a move but you’re not sure how to transition things to the bedroom. Worst of all, it’s something you both want!

I discovered one of the best romantic comedies on the market that acts as the perfect segue. It’s a British show called “Coupling” that has been a part of my dating toolbox for a number of years. In fact, I have often referred to it as Seduction In A Box. It’s similar in concept to the show “Friends” except that all these friends talk about is sex and it doesn’t hurt that this show is about ten times funnier, sassier and a whole lot more clever.

Here’s why I like this product in this situation:

1. It makes transitioning from “talk” to “touch” extremely smooth.

2. It virtually guarantees you won’t blow things by acting awkward and being hesitant.

3. It gets everyone thinking about sex in a light-hearted way.

4. It’s a show that is relevant to both men and women.

5. It’s portable (in case you end up at their place).

I highly recommended getting the whole series (they come as a boxed set if you do). The shows are just that addictive. If that wasn’t reason enough, check out all the “gems” on the bonus DVDs. And you can get all four seasons for under $100.00 CAD

(The BBC Shops are currently offering FREE Shipping on orders over $100)

The Coupling Collection Funny, critically acclaimed and packed with every episode from all four seasons. Four times the sex, hilarity, provocation … and sex! Dubbed “The Viagra of sitcoms,” “Seinfeldian” and “Laugh-out-loud funny,” the BBC comedy series Coupling is a huge stateside hit thanks to its fresh take on relationships.

U.S. visitors click here

It’s difficult to have a healthy relationship, if you don’t know what that looks like. Any relationship of substance starts with a healthy respect for the other person. If it’s lacking on either side for whatever reason, none of the other characteristics will make up for it. Like the second characteristic, trust, it’s a deal-breaker if this element is missing. Supporting mutual respect and trust is honesty.

Together, like a divine trio, they form the basis of your relationship. And just as they support each other, you and your partner should support each other, mentally and spiritually. Your significant other should be interested in helping you achieve your goals, as you help them achieve theirs.

Ideally, the relationship will be one of equals. While this is never always the case, there should be a sense of fairness that permeates it. Having said all that, it is also important to realize you are both individuals, with your own identities, in your own right, as well as in the relationship.

The last piece to the puzzle that ties everything together is good communication. If you have that, you will be able to improve on other areas that may not be as strong.

Pop culture, music and film have set our expectations through the roof when it comes to dating. If you are not flying to Paris for dinner, attending the latest star-studded premiere and hanging out in the hottest club’s private room, we are somehow made to feel we have missed the mark in making our date a successful one.

What they don’t tell you; what always works; what is important about your date; is making a connection with the other person, and it doesn’t take a lot of flash and glitz to do that. All you really need is to have a plan and execute it, even if that’s only shooting pool.

Be creative and use your imagination when you are thinking of places to go or things to do. Being original and unpredictable is immensely attractive and much more valuable than throwing a lot of cash around. However, you still want to make a good impression, especially if it’s a first date.

So, instead of taking your date to the dive across the tracks where they have the dollar coin tables that let you play all night, try the trendy penthouse pool hall with the leather chairs with the tables you rent by the hour. Play a game or two before moving on to the next part of your date. You don’t have to blow your wad, but show them you are not a cheapskate either.

There is no best way to end a relationship. Someone always gets hurt. The only thing you really have control over is how painful it is going to be. If you have tried to reconcile your differences, put a good deal of effort in to repairing the relationship and still aren’t seeing any improvement, it may be time to plan your “exit strategy”.

Arrange to see your partner in person. No matter what anyone says, it is never acceptable to break-up with some any other way than face-to-face. Sure, it’s more difficult that way, but it is what they deserve and it shows respect. Give them specific reasons for the breakup, preferably in a matter-of-fact tone of voice. Whatever you have to say, be honest and get it all out. There’s no going back two weeks later saying “And another thing…” Let them respond and be heard. Be polite. Say goodnight.

Understanding our partners is critical to creating and maintaining emotional intimacy. It may take a lot of time and effort to develop that deeper connection. The result of this effort, though, is the basic building block that allows true love to grow in a relationship. The couples who have done this are the ones that can genuinely “weather any storm”. The key for them is that over the years they have been able to open their hearts and trust their partner. They communicate openly and honestly about themselves and their feelings.

So why do we mere mortals find it so hard to effectively get our messages across and understand the ones coming from our partner? We’re all speaking the same language right? Well, not really. You can think of it like this: Men are PCs and Women are Macs. And NO, I’m not saying one is better than the other. The point I’m making is that they both do similar jobs and use similar languages to do those jobs, but they have very completely different operating systems. Whereas men tend to operate from a very analytical point of view that is simple to understand, women tend to operate from an emotional center which incorporates a lot of complex thinking into their communication.

Aware of it or not, we human beings tend to make all of our decisions based on emotional factors and then justify our choices with our rational mind. It all happens very quickly at an unconscious level and usually isn’t noticed unless someone is actually watching for it. Now, even though it’s the same process for both sexes, men tend to focus on the logical reasons for their decision and may be completely unaware they were feeling anything when they made it. Women, on the other hand, are more likely to tell you that their decision, “just felt right”. Their rationalization has more to do with listening to what their “gut” has to say about the situation.

With this perspective on how the different sexes communicate, how difficult would it be to change our tone and words to reflect the opposite sex’s “Communication Style” and maybe deepen your own emotional connections?