The Best Dating Advice

Halloween may still be months away. And you find the idea of dressing up in a costume to go out in public and garner the favor of strangers galling.

Yet, that is exactly what we all do, everyday. We “put on our best face”, “dress for success” and “take on the world. The truth is, we are all insecure (and some would say we’re conditioned to be this way from an early age). It’s in the way we are raised. In generations gone by, stepping out of your cultural norms or expectations could lead to public shaming. Of course this only works if you care about what others think.

There’s a school of thought that says this desire for getting other people’s approval is hardwired in us from the days we had a tribal culture when it was a struggle just to stay alive. Here, being in everyone’s good graces meant you had the protection and resources of the group to help you live another day.

We remain affected by this desire today. We are still under a lot of pressure to make sure we are well received by strangers, whether it’s a job interview or a first date. If we completely tank, on an emotional level, we feel that loss, that primal pain of not being accepted, deeply, as though those tribal conditions still existed.

Unfortunately, this emotional angst pops up continually in our dating lives. We have given it much more authority than it deserves in our modern times and even tied it in how we perceive ourselves. Many of us, fueled by this innate desire to be accepted, are prone to bargaining away the very thing that others find attractive about us.

When we attempt to trade our power in a relationship for acceptance, we present a less than desirable picture of who and what we are. The situation reeks of someone who does not value themselves and feels they have to resort to bribery to gain affection. Do Not let this be you. You’re better than that. I know you are.

The mask you want to wear; the portrait you want to convey, the one that turns heads, is one of cavalier disregard balanced with an up-beat attitude, a positive outlook, self-determined action, an insatiable curiosity about the world & the people in it, and a fixed determination to accomplish the goals you have decided are worthwhile.

Show the world this is the person you are and they will “beat down your door” to meet you.

In these modern times, Belgians are beloved the world over for their chocolates, waffles and (to a lesser extent) doughnuts. But in 1771, while still under rule by Austria, they came up with something truly revolutionary: La Marche Des Canards.

Rumour has it that La Marche Des Canards was one of the weapons in Josephine de Beauharnais sexual “war chest”, used to seduce Napoleon Bonaparte in October of 1795. History tells us that six months later, he married her. Coincidence?

What was this weapon of seduction? It literally translates to English as “the march (or walk) of the ducks”. Derived from the way ducks will all waddle down to the pond in a single row and jump in the water, it describes the process of placing a line of petite kisses, starting at your lover’s forehead, down the bridge of their nose and “jumping” to their lips for the final smooch (big splash).

Historically, we lose track of it here, but “La Marche Des Canards” later resurfaces in the unlikeliest of places. After more than a century and a half, it shows up halfway across the world in the United States of America, just after the end of World War II. And, along with its transatlantic journey comes a new name: The Nose Dive.

While we only have anecdotal evidence to suggest that the name change came from returning U.S. Air Force pilots, “The Nose Dive”, does differ from its Belgian cousin in one important respect: The American “march” has been truncated and kisses only begin being placed on one’s lover’s nose mid-bridge.