The Best Dating Advice

For anything of significance that has been achieved by humankind, there has been a plan. From the pyramids in Egypt, through the various wars that pepper our history books, to the individual need to outwit, outplay and outlast, there has been a blueprint or strategy for getting the job done.

Why would it be any different in your love life?

Yet, so many men and women have decided that it’s not under their control and chalk it up to fate. How many times have your friends or family members said, “It’ll just happen… when the time is right”? Or “If it’s meant to be….it’ll happen”. Would you travel to a new city without getting directions and proclaim that you’ll get there “If it’s meant to be”?

Fate may be the weight of circumstance, but shouldn’t you align those circumstances in your favour? I do agree that “Things Happen For A Reason”, but that reason is largely influenced by your actions or inactions. Sitting at home and watching TV while waiting for your ideal mate to find you is kinda like playing “Hide & Seek” by hopping the next plane to Europe.

There’s a better way.

Here’s your 3 step Action Plan:

1) Realize that if it’s going to happen, you need to become a creative force is making it happen. This one makes a lot of people uneasy, because it requires moving out of your “comfort zone”

2) Decide exactly what the person you are looking for will look like, their personality, their likes and dislikes, level of education, attitude towards life, even the type of watch they wear. Details are key.

3) Take action everyday to meet this person. Where would they go? Go there. Where do they shop? Shop there. Put yourself in their way. That’s how they will find you.

Try it. You’ll like it.

One of the best things about internet dating sites is that they introduce you to people you would have otherwise never met. Ever. When I started looking into online dating to get dates, I was at a point in my life where I was just not meeting the type of women in my day-to-day life that I wanted to date. And when I finally signed-up, I found the world waiting for me.

There is a learning curve, but if you are sincere and are willing not to take things personally, online dating can be a treasure-trove of fun, adventure and romance.

Let’s take a look at setting up your profile in a way that gets people interested in you.

1 – Pictures: Unless you are in the “witness relocation program” (official or unofficial), there is absolutely no reason not to have a photo of yourself up on the site. Yeah, you may want to be judged on your personality and not your picture, but without a photo, your personality may not even have a chance to be seen. If no one clicks on your profile, you will never have a chance to shine. Get a friend with a digital camera to take it. Upload it from your work computer. Do whatever you have to do to make it happen. VERY IMPORTANT: make sure that it is a recent picture.

2-Catchy Headline: Most dating sites ask you to write a catchy one-sentence advertisment for your profile. It’s your “Hello” to everyone who is browsing the site. The more intriguing you can be, the better. Don’t be affraid to make a controversial statement. The whole point is to get them to click on your profile. My best headline for getting my profile open and in front of a prospective date was: “I want to talk to you about making the best decision you’ll ever make” (and then my “about me” section followed on the same theme). Was clicking on my profile the best descision they could have ever made? Probably not. Making a sandwhich could have been a better decision, but the headline made them curious. It was a bold statement. They couldn’t help but click on my profile.

3 -Description/About Me section: This is where you truly get to showcase your personality and shine like the superstar you are. After having mediocre success with a couple of different descriptions, I signed up again, under a different e-mail, as a female, so I could see what other men were writing in their profiles. I must have read a good forty or fifty and to my horror they all sounded alike, mine included – no wonder I wasn’t attracting the women I wanted. I think a total of three guys had profiles that stood out.

Dare to be different. Put things in your description that make you sound unique (not creepy). You want to be memorable – for the right reasons.

You may have noticed how the social scene tends to dry up after the holidays. Everyone is still feeling too bloated from all the fruitcake, sugary & chocolate treats and turkey dinners to move, let alone think about leaving the sanctuary of their warm and cozy homes.

And even if they can get some momentum and are brave enough to face the arctic temperatures that generally befall us at this time of year, the sheer magnitude of the Visa or Mastercard bills is enough to stifle the will of even the heartiest of souls.

You see, the formula for the post holiday season looks something like this: Economically uncertain times + cold weather + large credit card bills = not goin’ no place; even for dinner.

You could wait for Spring, when everyone starts to thaw out and once again populate the popular watering holes, museums, bookstores and charity events. Or, you might want to fire up the keyboard and type your way to where an army of potential dates are waiting to meet you.

January is a great time to be involved in online dating. With a sense of new hope, many singles resolve to get their love-life in order and a common first step is signing up to one or more dating sites.

Some sites are paid and some free. I have found that, as a general rule, you are more likely to find people who are serious about meeting someone on the paid sites. And depending on how the site is set up, you are more likely to cut down on the number of “emotionally weird” contacting you. People tend to think more about sending an e-mail when they have to pay to do it. That being said, I have met and dated some really great people on the free sites. You may want to consider putting a profile up on both types of sites and test which ones work better for you.

Popular paid sites include:
Match.com
Lavalife.com
Mate1.com

Popular FREE sites include:
DownToEarth.com (associated with Match.com)
PlentyofFish.com

Have you ever been frustrated with your dating results?

Do you ever feel like dating is a complicated series of moves and counter-moves where one mistake can spell out D-I-S-A-S-T-E-R?

Does it ever seem like dating is merely a numbers game where some people get the partner they want and some people settle for the partner they get?

Have you ever felt like you could get the person you wanted, if only you knew the right combination of things to do and say?

My resolution for 2009 is to help you build a better dating life. In my e-course, “My Best Year Ever“, I will personally guide you through a series of weekly learnings to help you be the person who naturally dates the kind of person you want to date; even if you think they may be “out of your league”, right now.

For 52 weeks – a full year, I will guide you step-by-step through some very powerful concepts, real world case studies and action exercises designed to help you get this stuff at a deep level.

Free enrollment for this course will be capped at 100 students. Any more and I will not be able to ensure the quality of the training.

Just click on the sign-up button and we’ll get you started:

What do the economy and dating have in common? The current state of the stock market in many ways resembles someone who has lost their ability to be emotionally consistent; up 800 points, down 1000; up 300, down 700. Every step of the way, they are losing precious ground.

If we, and by we I mean everyone on the planet, were to allow ourselves to be unconcerned by the minor drops and gains of the day-to-day trading; If we weren’t watching the markets every second, demanding to know what it all means and desperately trying to hold on to every profitable cent, a lot of this instability would settle. The problem is we have invested in a strategy that is predicated on everything going in a positive direction. We have invested so much in to this one strategy, that the mere thought that we could possibly lose some ground will send us into a tailspin of irrational, fear based, behaviour.

Someone who does not have much experience with dating puts the same kind of pressures on their interactions when they go out on a date. They need things to go right. They need to make sure they say and do the right things. They need to make sure everything is perfect. This “need-iness” leads to questions like “Am I the kind of person you normally date?”, “Are you attracted to guys/girls like me?” and a whole host of reaction based questions.

Afterall, they have invested in a strategy and desperately want to hold on to every positive gain they have made during the date. Unfortunately, this strategy is steeped in fear, fear of losing the disired outcome – another date. And, this kind of behaviour is the quickest way to ensure their isn’t one.

Your biggest assets on a date is having an ability to “roll with the punches”. Even if it appears as though things are not going smoothly, you can recover quite easily by hanging back. Make a clever quip or relaxed remark, instead of frantically trying to “fix” the situation and you’ll see how easily things get back on track.