The Best Dating Advice

So, you’ve been dating someone for a few months when you suddenly have the realization that this person is just like the last person you dated. And the person before that, and before that and so on. Or are they?

Why is it that no matter what some people do, they always manage to attract the exact same type of relationship, jobs and circumstances they just spent the last six months trying to get away from?

Well it’s not as bewildering as it might first seem. Just like I talk about in “7 Tips To For A Killer First Date“, while you are growing up you absorb a lot of information about how life works from your environment and these “imprints” affect your choices to this day. Even though you no longer have any connection to that original experience.

When it comes to romance, you likely have certain preferences that you screen for when selecting a partner. Some are conscious choices you have made over the years and others are unconscious decisions based on these childhood imprints and your beliefs about what you deserve, how happy you think you should be, etc…

Relationships are dynamic. We are constantly adjusting our actions and communication. In a game of badminton, one player lobs the shuttlecock across the net to the other player. The other player interprets the aim and responds, adjusting his serve. Something not so different is happening when you interact with your significant other. If you are constantly & consistently communicating in the same way and doing the same things every time with each successive partner, it might not surprise you that they all start to react to you in a similar fashion.

Another one of the amazing things our brains do is that they love to pick out and analyze patterns, sometimes where none exist (conspiracy theories, anyone?). Part of that is taking your experiences from past relationships and pointing out when situations seem familiar.

So, if it seems like you are always in the same relationship, even though the people are different, you might want to stop a moment and see if it could have anything to do with:

1) Your Preferences: Your conscious and unconscious decisions about who you want to be with.
2) Your Communication: Are you indirectly creating the same circumstances over and over?
3) Your Beliefs: Are you placing limits on them or yourself because of how you think the world should work?

Any one of them could be the reason you’re getting that oh-so-comfortable familiar feeling mixed in with a heavy dose of unnerving awareness.

When it comes to dating and romance, nothing is more pressuring than a first date. But what if it didn’t have to happen that way? What if you had a plan? A basic blueprint for handling the date? From beginning to end?

You know how it is. Maybe you are out with friends at the pool hall, or even alone at the bus stop, and then you see him/her. Your pulse quickens, your sweat glands engage and you start feeling anxious and aren’t sure what to do about it. Who is this person who seems to be causing your (allergic?) reaction? How is this stranger intoxicating your senses so profoundly? You instantly want to know everything about them, even possess them. You lose the desire to eat, the urge to sleep. This person is all you can think about.

Driven by your dominant urges, you finally decide to make yourself vulnerable to rejection. You may have spent days or weeks mustering up the courage to talk to him/her and ask them out. And the risk turns out to be worth it, because they said “yes”. You relax. Your physiological responses return to normal and you start thinking about how great it is that you have set up a date with this person.

This is where many people go astray. They start making HD quality pictures in their heads about how great things will be when they get together with this person and start investing a lot of emotion in to the process. When it’s finally time to go on the date, they have built up their expectations so high that there is MASSIVE pressure to make sure everything goes right.

So, what do you do now? You have a date, but do you have a plan for the date? All of sudden you start worrying about all the things that will go wrong if you somehow do not impress this person. Having a plan will dramatically increase your chances of having things work out the way you want them to, but what of the intangibles? Which “you” are you showing up as? How do you create that “connection”? Are we having fun yet? How do you “end” the date? I recently posted a FREE nine-page PDF report called: “7 Tips For a Killer First Date“, designed to help you navigate these first date minefields. You can download it here:

It’ll should answer about 90% of your questions, send me an e-mail for the other 10%.

Welcome to The Best Dating Advice. It my fervent hope that you will find useful and practical advice that can help you achieve the romantic life of your dreams.

Inside you’ll discover:

To your dating success