The Best Dating Advice

Thanks to everyone who took the time to fill out the brief Dating Survey. We got a generous amount of feedback that we will be using to tailor our future posts to your needs. If you haven’t had a chance yet to give us your input, there is a link in the right sidebar that will take you to the survey.

One of the biggest questions to come out of the survey was about meeting new people. In particular, how do you walk up to someone you don’t know and strike up a relationship?

Your Approach: Of course, how you choose to engage the hottie you’ve singled out will depend on where you both are. For example, how you act and what you would say will be different if you are approaching him/her in a club, pub, school library, house party, cafeteria, Frat party, or on the street. You want to think about what each situation demands in terms of your energy level, language, conversation topics and attire.

Time: Because they don’t know you, they’ll likely have their guard up, wondering what you want and how long you’ll be harassing them. Put the personal at ease by telling the right away that you need to get back to your friends (you must be normal, you have friends), but you wanted to come over and say hello first. Or some variant thereof. When your time is up(30 seconds to one minute), leave. You can always follow-up later.

Storytelling: You need something to say other than “Hi, you’re cute”. If you have trouble pulling stuff out the air to talk about, memorize something. Keep it simple, truthful, fun and entertaining. You want the other person to be intrigued. Then, when you come around again, they’re dying to talk to you.

Presence: Being “Present” doesn’t just mean showing up. It’s about actively being focused on what’s happening. When you’re Present, you can feel the energy between the two of you. If you get to that point and you are sincere in your desire to connect with this person (i.e. not just looking for sex), you can say or suggest anything and the other person would likely agree to it. It’s a very intense experience, kinda like looking into someone’s soul.

Context: As Einstein would say, “It’s all about relativity”. Not only do you need to be Present, you need to be congruent with the situation (if you are Present, you’re words and actions will follow). You want to blend in to the atmosphere that’s already there. If there’s a huge mismatch and you are out of sync with your surroundings you risk scaring off the very person you wanted to befriend.

Keep things fun and light. If you don’t end up making a “love connection”, assess what happened. Look at where things went well and think about how you can improve where they didn’t. Tweak your approach and try again.

Some presents are better than others. During the hustle & bustle of the holiday season, sometimes you find yourself between parties and family gatherings, alone with no one to share your company. No more does this ring true than for the city’s many singles, who may end up feeling lonely and left out.

One of the best times of the year to meet somone new is that five day strech between Christmas and New Year’s eve. Whether emboldened by drink, the comfort of friends and relations or merely drunk on the spirit of the holidays, people are just more receptive to new relationships at this time of year. It’s as though our whole society has slipped into the Twilight Zone – as though reality itself is temporarily suspended and anything is possible (which is the true nature and real power of the Christmas season).

People are more likely to have their defenses down and accept what they are being presented at face value. Their positive vibes will imbue you with the qualities they themselves value and even the simplest getsure will come across as a great humanitarian effort. It’s pretty easy to shine if you have love in your heart and a smile on your face.

Here’s your three step action plan for stepping out on the next five nights, starting the 26th:

1.) Put yourself in the middle of the action. You cannot make an impression if there’s no one to impress. Find the local “hot spot” and show up in a comfortable, but somewhat dressy outfit.

2.) Ask a lot of questions. You can never find out too much about someone who intrigues you.

3.) Be interested. Following step 2, listen with earger ears to what the other person is telling you. And don’t forget to ask follow up questions like “How do you mean that?” to show you are truly seeking to understand them. This most effestive way to get the other person interested in you.

If you follow this advice, don’t be suprised when the group you have befriended have to leave and ask you to tag along.